How The Votes Will Be Calculated

Posted: August 24, 2011 in Random

The votes for Film Cocaine Idol will be calculated at the time on the next day after your submission has been posted.

Say it is posted at 11:00 AM on the Thursday, every vote will be counted up until 11:00 AM on the next day, the Friday.

Good luck to all of the contestants!


Film Cocaine’s first entry into Film Cocaine Idol was chosen due to the excellent command of the English language and the exciting insight into a classic film. Andre Ballot’s post was written in a presentable, fun and lively way. 

Film Cocaine received over 80 entries and only the best were chosen. A massive congratulations to Andre Ballot for becoming the first guest submission into Film Cocaine Idol.

This is Andre’s shot into the final round of submissions, if you like it, vote for it! (More on how to vote, read below)

Greetings filmlovers!

Today’s review is about my all-time favourite film and what I consider to be the last film in the Indiana Jones trilogy, before Indy turned old, Nazis turned Russian and stumbled upon the real Area 51 in “Kingdom of the Crystal-Meth”.

Many people seem to have fond childhood memories of “Last Crusade”, but I hardly ever see it in anyone’s dvd collection. I always feel that when a film is well directed with decent acting and especially set in something like the 30’s requiring little to no special effects, it ages remarkably well. We get that feeling with “Last Crusade” as the script is also jam-packed with witty one-liners and memorable dialog that you’ll no doubt want to quote to and annoy your friends constantly after watching the film twenty times.

In terms of the film itself: it feels like a clear improvement to “Raiders of the Lost Ark” and “Temple of Doom”. Firstly, we have an objectively more important artifact to chase down for Indy: The Holy Grail. Yes, you can dominate the world with the Ark of the Covenant, but you won’t be around for long to enjoy that power. Throw in a cup that grants those who drink from it eternal life and you have a killer plot and veritable Nazi-magnet (and luckily for us also archaeologists with Batman-like fighting skills).

It also feels like Indy has matured as a character, as the starting scene in the film depicts him as a teenager in the boy scouts and reveals at long last how he came to be such a formidable badass for a college professor. His interaction with his polar opposite of a father, played by Sean Connery: the man with a voice that could turn straight men gay, who makes a first appearance in the third film, also reveals another daddy-issues dimension to Indy as they resolve demons of the past.

Besides the great acting line-up, classic dialog and cool premise, the film has a swift and natural flow to it and there is a respectable amount of both unpredictable and often funny action scenes to keep everyone happy and to top it all off, we’re constantly smirking from the disgruntled looks on the faces of the members of the Third Reich.

If you haven’t seen this timeless classic in a while, I suggest picking up a hat, whip and a cheap dvd somewhere.

ALL IN ALL: 4 out of 5

How to vote:

In the comments below

In an email to

On the link on Facebook – JUST CLICK LIKE!

On Andre’s link – JUST CLICK LIKE! 

Film Cocaine will also be looking at views for the particular post. Each view from a different IP will count as a vote!



Rules for Film Cocaine Idol!

Posted: August 22, 2011 in Random

Film Cocaine has been growing exponentially in the past month and I decided that now would be the perfect opportunity for something like this.

This is how the Film Cocaine Idol will work:

  • You send in anything to do with film, theater or the entertainment world.
  • Three prelim rounds take place over three weeks, where the top 10 guest writers are chosen.
  • The top 10 writers will go into the final round and will receive specific challenges to complete.
  • You will campaign for yourself in the final round.
  • There will be a daily vote, where the person with the least amount of votes will be eliminated.
  • The winner will be announced in the final 2 “week”.
Prizes? Say WHAT?
The winner of the Film Cocaine Idol competition will become a regular columnist on Film Cocaine. He/She will be able to write on a weekly basis about their film, theater and/or entertainment experience!
There will be NO financial remuneration given to the winner and no financial remuneration will be demanded. This is purely a fun little competition for those interested. If you do not wish to continue in the competition due to this, please let me know ASAP as there is a massive amount of interest and someone else would be more than willing to take your spot!
Let’s go guys!

The film dips its’ toes into a crass and predictable plot which jack knifes around stocky characterization. There is no real flesh to this film and Ivan Reitman’s (Ghostbusters) heavy directing led to scenes which were a bit too slow on the uptake.

The Plot: Adam meets Emma. They become sex friends. There is not anything more spectacular or worthy about the rest of the plot.

The Review: No Strings Attached treads a very, very thin line between chauvinistic characterization and a watered down feminist backlash. There is no real balance in the film as Natalie Portman’s character, Emma, is a hold-him-under-my-thumb  type of feminist and Ashton Kutcher’s character, Adam, lacks a sense of power and oomph which is required in order to make the plot work. It is nonsensical and blatantly treats the viewer to an appetizing trip down cliche lane.

Emma (Natalie Portman) is a bit rough around the edges and the characterization completely overpowers the plot devices which use both sexuality and awkwardness in order to obtain the sensation of pretty rom-com. The crass dialogue leaves the viewer hanging, waiting for a stronger delivery and a larger punch. No Strings Attached delved into real life dramatics and stuck its’ toe into a large pool of soppy, sloppy and sleepy cliched plot shenanigans.

It wasn’t all bad and even though No Strings Attached suffered from more faults than San Andreas, Ashton Kutcher strangely saved the day.  His performance was surprisingly less goofy and he is (extremely slowly) maturing into a dramatic actor.

The film was coincidentally released close to the hype of Black Swan where Natalie won the Academy Award for Best Actress. The film does absolutely no justice to Natalie’s career.

The only truly enjoyable feature of No Strings Attached was the wonderful and hysterical Kevin Kline as Adam’s (Ashton Kutcher) father. GREAT SCOTT!

If you’re looking for a cute rom-com, No Strings is right down your alley. Don’t expect too much and be sure to prepare yourself for the crass humour and slightly offbeat sexual plot devices.



Guest Writer Submissions!

Posted: August 21, 2011 in Random
Tags: , ,

A quick reminder, if you wish to enter your work as a guest writer, please do so before Wednesday!

Film Cocaine has received an overwhelming amount of applications and the first posts will be going up from Wednesday. Film Cocaine will also be closing the first round of applications on this day.

There will be three rounds for the first three weeks.

If you have a blog which you wish to advertise on your musings as a guest writer, you’re welcome to send the link along! I will gladly add your link to the bottom of the page, but I do ask that you do the same for Film Cocaine.

This a competition people, so please write a great post! I will not be accepting work with lazy grammar and/or syntax!

See your submissions soon!

Film Cocaine asked a few of the peeps on Facebook to try and exactly find out what in the world happened to certain actors. Did their careers die a horrible death? Did they give up on acting? Did they forget they’re world famous? Below is the latest expedition into what Film Cocaine is calling, HOLLYWOOD CAREER DEATH.

Many a person asked me about the following actor, both on Facebook and in real life. (Yes, I have a real life outside of film). So, I had to ask that ever elusive question, WHAT IN THE WORLD HAPPENED TO ELIJAH WOOD?

Elijah Wood was one of Hollywood’s biggest heart throbs, with a well rounded career and friends in all the right places, Elijah was on his way to mass-stardom. He starred in a little film franchise, known as Lord of the Rings and he became the centerfold blue eyed hunk which many females (and males) drooled over. His performance in Deep Impact garnered him critical acclaim, a few years before the Rings franchise and he was quickly becoming a household name.

What went wrong with Elijah’s career? Bad choices? Horrible scripts? Box office bombers? 

Elijah starred in a few powerful films after the Rings franchise which included Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Sin City, Green Street Hooligans and a small role in the film collectif called, Paris Je t’aime. Elijah faded after this and ended up in Hollywood career hell with the voice of a few well known characters in several animated films such as Happy Feet and Happy Feet Twobeing released later this year. Is it safe to say that Lord of the Rings completely destroyed his career? Yes. Elijah Wood invested a few years into becoming Frodo Baggins and reached a career peak with said franchise. In Hollywood, the danger of becoming part of such a franchise is that most actors lose their momentum after such a well known franchise. Daniel Radcliffe might also hit this slump after the end of Harry Potter. Elijah Wood is not done as an actor, as he is starring in The Hobbit which is slated for a 2012 and 2013 release date. This time, once again, as Frodo Baggins. Typecast much? This will be Elijah’s fourth and fifth film as exactly the same character. Elijah needs a miracle to get back onto track after the incessant typecasting of this specific character. Who knows, Elijah might kick start his career with the release of The Hobbit, but Film Cocaine highly doubts this. This might spell the end for an already lackluster career. Sorry, Elijah.


Sarah made some risky moves with her career. She weaved in and out of a popular television show (Buffy: The Vampire Slayer) to films such as I Know What You Did Last Summer, Scream 2, Cruel Intentions and the Scooby Doo films. After the end of the super successful Buffy, Sarah starred in the well received The Grudge and somehow returned to the spotlight of Hollywood for the hype around The Grudge. This horror fest was the final moment in a charred career. Poor Sarah died a horrible Hollywood Career Death through not being able to follow up on The Grudge’s success. Sarah made a few straight-to-dvd releases and has no future projects currently planned. All’s well that ends well, Sarah. Who knows? She might be able to pick up the pieces of a limbless career and build herself back up into a Hollywood heavyweight. The chances are unlikely that Sarah Michelle Gellar will ever return as a Hollywood power player. It is a sad goodbye to a reasonably fun actress.



Little girls back in the late 90’s and early noughties fainted on a daily basis when Dawson’s Creek was still running. The release of Varsity Blues was a sign that James Van Der Beek was being cemented as a film actor too. Dawson’s Creek ended in 2003. James Van Der Beek ended his reign as an actor. Throughout film history, many actors faded into a deep, dark oblivion, never to be seen again. I highly doubt any recent career crashed and burned as much as James Van Der Beek’s. He released a few independent films in the past few years, but he was never able to achieve the success he once had. James Van Der Beek’s career is one of Hollywood’s most infamous career deaths. Blame it on poor choices, blame it on a young Hollywood boom, James will never truly be known as a Hollywood actor. His career is currently being cremated in television production hell.

Who do you think deserves a place on What In The World Happened To…? 

Yes, it truly is a kind of funny story. This independent little film is based on a novel written by Ned Vizzini in 2006 about a seemingly depressed kid who books himself into a psychiatric hospital for a week and learns more about himself and meets the girl of his dreams (played by the splendid Emma Roberts).

The film is carried by the less than effervescent Keir Gilchrist (United States of Tara) and the exceptionally hysterical Zach Galifianakis (Hangover Films).

Craig Gilner (Gilchrist) checks himself into a psychiatric hospital one “bad night” and forces himself into a hospital with interesting characters and the “looking at oneself” mentality. The plot reads like a satire, but delivers something which is at times, more skin than bone. There are beautiful moments in this film and there are some yucky, sentimental elements which strangely do not do justice to the story.

Look, I am all for quirky attributes to a plot and intelligent dialogue, but the very essence of such a type of film was perfectly executed in the critical darling,Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World. It’s A Kind Of Funny Story is not completely bad and contains some elements of youthful intelligence and clever, sardonic storytelling. The way Gilchrist, Galifianakis and Roberts carry this film deserves an applause. Watch out for the excellent musical number of Under Pressure which was a light little piece of work in an already heady and slow film.

I liken my experience of this film to eating cheap chocolates. The experience is a simulation. There was not one, direct moment in the film which I can point to that I went, “Wow, this film truly is spectacular.” No, the entire sum of this film melted into one stream of syrup. The slow characterization, the thematic content, as well as the third act, all blended into one quirky, cute film.  It isn’t a terrible film, but it lacked the very essence of what a memorable film should be, substance.

When watching this film, one feels like you’ve seen all of it before, only better. Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck (Half Nelson), writers and directors of the film, were not able to fully convey the message of the film to its’ audience and lacked the beautiful, quirky, love-ability of so many previous psychiatric ward, teenage turmoil films.

I thoroughly enjoyed the film and I expect audiences to watch this film and enjoy it. Do not expect to walk away feeling like you’ve witnessed something spectacular, you will most probably walk away and feel like you went on a relaxing, slightly emotional, Sunday cruise with the family.


3 out of 5